Tuesday, October 6, 2009
i need treatment, fast.
School right now is boring me to a very alarming level. There's not a subject that I don't like this semester, unlike the previous semesters where even if I hate more than half my subjects, there's at least one or two that I like. We're reaching our final examinations and yet I feel like I haven't learned a thing. Not one school-related thing gets me excited anymore. My mind is getting duller (is there such word?) and duller every single day. I even feel like my brain cells have rotten inside my head!
Moreover, the pressure of having this school life is definitely not encouraging me to do good. Pressure from family, my conscience, my schoolmates, my churchmates, almost everyone. The more pressure there is, the more I escape. The escape, I tell you, is really really tempting. And the worst part is, I've given in to it a lot of times. And that is definitely not good. NOT GOOD. Some people might say I'm just being lazy (because I am), but I don't think so. This is beyond laziness, and again, that's not good.
The slightly-good thing about this is, I really want to change. I want to stop. I want to be enthusiastic about school again, I really do. It's just that, I've been pulled away from it, and it's really really hard to go back. If I could turn back time, I've done it a long time ago. I'm sick. I really need to be treated, fast. I don't want to upset the people expecting from me anymore.
I need help.
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